The subzero temps continue. I'm quite tired of it! My fingertips got a bit frost bitten in just seconds this past week and now are peeling. Quite unattractive and uncomfortable!

Yesterday was a long day, up at 5:30AM to continue to catch up on paperwork before seeing clients, then had ICPD class last night. I managed to lose another 2 lbs. this past week inspite of holiday festivities and foods. Of course I have been crabby about not being able to sample this and that. I find it funny that I am so cranky about something that is entirely my own choice! It was funny at church the other day, one of the little old ladies asked me if I'd been ill because I've lost weight. LOL I've lost 16lbs. now since the beginning of the class, according to my scales, a total of 30 since September before the class started. Another lady said "You are becoming just a shadow of yourself!" LOL glad that it's finally starting to show. I'm more than half way to the goal set at the beginning of class and still have 10 weeks to go. Tom is a great support coach when I get discouraged. It's so helpful having him go to the class so he can remind me how well I'm doing and cheer me on! There are only 2 of us 10 class members who have spouses who come with us. They are as much a part of the class as we.

I have to find time to mail a couple of small packages to my mom and sisters, and a couple of friends so they get there in time for the holiday. I got a package from my friend Deb Hosey in DE yesterday. I take a childlike delight in having a couple of packages under the tree. I need to print some pictures to send to siblings in thier cards as well.

I've nearly used up the hour I was allowing myself on the computer this morning before starting work so I'd best be off and on with the day. I miss reading blogs but will have such fun catching up when the pace slows down.

When I posted the whole wheat biscuit recipe the other day I forgot to include the most important ingredient...WHOLE WHEAT FLOUR!! Somehow left it out when I cut and pasted the recipe from my files. It's corrected now if anyone is interested in trying it out. Delicious and so easy! (Terri, I think Mom would really like these biscuits!)

Tom and I were blown away by the ending of Dexter tonight! I enjoyed the brief dialogue between M.C. Hall and J. Lithgow after the finale. Wow! Lithgow made such a great villain! He's so versitile!

I've had a really great weekend. I decided not to work at all on the paperwork yesterday, i was feeling a bit burned out so I finished reading Relic (by Preston and Childs) instead. I intended to exercise yesterday afternoon but fell asleep in the chair with Bear after Tom left to go to Choir practice and slept over 2 hours! When I woke up I made black bean burritos for dinner. We have leftovers for tomorrow night's dinner. They turned out really well. It was a quiet evening watching Hallmark's Christmas movie "Christmas In Canaan". That was a really good movie! Very uplifting! I made myself work out after watching the movie. Then I went to bed early and started reading RELIQUARY (another Preston and Childs novel, the sequel to RELIC) I've still got a couple of other Preston and Childs novels to read after I finish that. They have been prolific! I also have Brown's THE LOST SYMBOL TO READ. I'm looking forward to that. Tom really enjoyed the book.

I did a workout this morning before getting ready to go to church. I really enjoyed the church service this morning, the special music by the women's choir was really very good! The women's group meeting after church was pretty much par for all of them, bleh. I thought about skipping it but decided to grin and bear it. I missed the kick off of the Vikings/Bengal game but got home in time to see most of the game. It was a fun game to watch! Back to church at 4:00 for the Choir's Christmas Concert complete with manger scene. Baby John was baby Jesus this year. Luke and Crystal have provided a number of "Baby Jesus" over the years but I think baby John is the last one they will provide! He was #4 for them. :-) The music was really good! The choir did a Christmas Cantata, there was a strings duet, a couple of solo offerings, and two piano pieces done by other members of the congregation. Each year one of the older girls in the congregation is "St. Lucia" and enters in white gown and a wreath of candles on her head while Susie Larson sings "I AM SO GLAD EACH CHRISTMAS EVE" (in Swedish). December 13 is St. Lucia day in Scandinavia and Germany. So it was especially meaningful for those Swedes and Norwegians in the church.

There was a gorgeous "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake during refreshment time after. I came home and got in another workout while the yams I was baking as part of our dinner were cooking. I'm going to feel the extra exercise tomorrow, I'm feeling it already tonight! I had a brownie and a few bites of cake and ice cream today. Wanted to make sure I worked some of that off. It's such a hard time of the year to avoid the stuff that's so high in fat and calories. I have my ICPD class at the hospital tomorrow night. I hope the scales shows another loss.

Back to work again tomorrow. I'm getting up early to plod away on the paperwork and check to see if my files are in order for the upcoming file review and of course I see client tomorrow too. I guess I'd better get to bed now. I've had my Sleepy Time Tea and my tylenol PM is kicking in.

I planned to sleep in this morning but about 6:30 Sneezy woke up to have a sneezefest. It's been such a busy week, work, diet, exercise, work, ICPD group, work, Christmas party, more work, work, work. I've nothing new to write about other than having had my hair done yesterday. I love the haircut. It's shorter than it's been in quite a while and I really like it. :-)

I'm making progress on the paperwork I got behind on, going into the weekend I have only this week's paperwork to do. I'll work on it today to get that monkey off my back. We have a file review coming up on December 21 so must have all my files in order.

Between the church Christmas party on Wed. night and the shopping bag full of treats from the ladies out at the country church delivered Thursday, my diet is in jeapardy. I don't anticipate a dip in the scales at next week's weigh in. Thank heaven there wasn't any fudge in the bag! The rest of it is hard enough to leave alone! I'm struggling! Plus our subzero temps are making me want to eat more. This nasty cold weather is a little depressing and making me cranky.

We haven't had a chance to do the little bit of Christmas shopping we must do. Thank goodness there isn't a whole lot we have to do. It may have to wait until we're in Fargo on the 21st for the staff meeting/file review/Agency Christmas party.

These are not your fluffy white biscuits, but they are really good and went well with the red pepper soup I made Thursday. They have less than half the calories of regular white biscuits and none of the astounding amount of fat grams! I played around with a whole wheat biscuit recipe I found online. I'd heard that you can substitute applesauce or ripe banana for fat in cakes etc. but I wasn't sure if it would work in a biscuit. They were really good and I can see myself getting hooked on these! So easy to bake, inexpensive and tasty. Parchment paper is a must for baking these if you don't have a nonstick cookie sheet!

Fat Free Whole Wheat Drop Biscuits

1 1/2 c. whole wheat flour
½ cup white flour
½ tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp Splenda brown sugar blend
¼ to ½ tsp. salt.
¾ c. skim milk
½ c. applesauce
Preheat oven to 400 and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper
Mix dry ingredients well in a mixing bowl, making a “well” in the center of the mixture.
Put the applesauce and milk in the well and mix from the sides in toward the center. Mix well but don’t over mix. The dough will be sticky.
Drop by tablespoons onto the parchment paper.
Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown
Makes 14 biscuits
1 biscuit = 66 calories and virtually NO fat.

I spent some time playing in the kitchen when I should have been working on paperwork Thursday afternoon. I threw some things together and Tom asked that I write down the recipe and keep this one! We were getting pretty low on stuff in the cupboard and refridgerator/freezer. Kind of amazing what you can come up with LOL

ROASTED RED PEPPER, TOMATO, TURKEY VEGETABLE SOUP (Hearty, Colorful, and Delicious!)
1 lb. ground turkey (at least 85% lean)
1 1b.13oz. water packed roasted red peppers DRAINED
2 cups canned diced tomatoes UNDRAINED
½ cup salsa
1 cup thinly sliced celery (use the leaves , optional)
1 cup thinly sliced carrots
½ cup chopped onion
3 teaspoons minced garlic
2/3 cup corn
1 cup brown rice
4 cups of water
1 tablespoon of chicken soup base.
1 teaspoon cumin
2 teaspoons chili powder
¼ teaspoon black pepper
Dash of cayenne pepper

Drain the peppers and then puree, about 2 cups. Set aside.
Brown the turkey, spooning off fat.
When turkey is nearly done add the carrots, celery, onions, garlic and cook some more until the onion starts to soften.
Add the pepper puree, tomatoes, salsa, water, soup base, rice, and spices. Bring to a rolling boil and then reduce to low. Simmer slowly for 2 hours or until rice is tender.
Makes approximately 12 cups.
Each cup has approximately 187 calories and 7 grams of fat.

One of the beauties of living in the northwoods is the longer nights and later dawn as we draw near to the birthday of the Sun at Solstice and the Son at Christmas. My youngest sister Terri calls this time of year The Holy Darkness; this time when the sun shows itself less from the Autumn Equinox through All Hallows/All Saint's Day, to Christmas and on to Epiphany (Epiphany is the commemoration of the arrival of the three wisemen and is a word rich in meaning en.wiktionary.org/wiki/epiphany )whereafter the sun begins to grow stronger, This time of the year I enjoy the solitude of this time of singing darkness, move inward to the cave of my soul, spend time with my thoughts, am aware of my inner life and spiritual life. I am a spiritual mutt, a mixture of paganism, Catholicism, and Lutheranism, a Christopagan as some have called the mix of Christian and pagan beliefs.

The Christian churches who have a liturgical tradition call this time in the church year, beginning 4 Sundays before Christmas the season of Advent. This morning as I sat with my coffee watching the morning break over the slight ridge to the east I was struck by the color and the awareness that in dawn, we are presented with the liturgical colors of Advent nearly every morning of the year! Purple, pink, followed by bright white light, surrounded by the evergreen of pines, it's all there in the morning sky over Lake of the Woods County! We are familiar with the quote "Let us keep Christmas in our hearts all year!" But perhaps it truely should be "Let us keep ADVENT in our hearts all year". Let us keep the hope of Advent always in our hearts, a candle of hope always present, always glimmering when we look inside, sometimes only a "dimly burning wick" that draws us forward when times in our lives seem the darkest!

This morning I was reading my friend Christen Lohr Weber's blog "From Sunshine Hill" christinloreweber.blogspot.com She posted her thoughts on Advent and talked about a Hallmark movie she'd seen earlier this month. Like my friend Christin I too saw the new Hallmark movie "A Dog Named Christmas". The premise was that the dog was fostered before Christmas and would be returned on December 26. What? Christmas gets returned the day after???? That idea bothered me! I enjoyed the movie very much and was cheered to see that Christmas changed the stone heart of a man so hurt and hardened by loss in his life that he didn't want "Christmas" . He discovered that "Christmas" had found a home in his heart even after he sent him away. When he went looking for "Christmas" Christmas was no longer there and no one knew where the dog had run away to. Many searched but Christmas was nowhere to be found. But a happy ending, "Christmas" came home forever to a man who needed it most. It bothers me (and my husband) that people start taking down all the lights and "putting away Christmas" on the 26th when the season of Christmas is just begun, then followed by Epiphany, times of light when the sun is still so scarce and we need it most! Our tree stays up year round, moved from the living room to either my office upstairs or a corner on our front porch where we can light it when we need to be reminded of hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Macrina Wiederkehr wrote:
I am the one for whom God waits!
I am awating the One who is awaiting me!

Embrace the season of winter with hope. it is a good teacher. it will lead you to your inmost depths where God is comtemplating you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this time of waiting for the arrival of the Sun light of Solstice and the Son light of Christmas, the light of Epiphany, may we all be lit from within and shine even our dimmest burning wick on a world in need of our light and hope!

Long day today, I worked 7 to 6 but did take 40 minutes to do my workout today as my lunch hour. Met Tom in Baudette at Subway at 6 for supper, love the chicken teryaki sub! It was yummy! Then we went to my ICPD class at 6:30 and I was pleased to find out I lost another 4 lbs. since last Monday's class. That's 13lbs since the class started, 25+lbs. since the end of Sepember. I'm feeling good about my progress. I'm going to have to buy new jeans soon, they're all getting really baggy.

It's cold tonight, -4. My mom called while we were out and said they're expecting a snowstorm in Southern Wisconsin.

I'm off to bed now, can't wait to get under the quilts and read for a few minutes before I fall asleep! I doubt it will be too long before I'm snoring.

Photo by Jaydene Stamnes

Have you ever seen otters playing in the snow? They are so comical! I've been lucky to see them a few times. They always look like they are having a ton of fun!

Luna had a very lazy weekend! Probably a good thing as I have a very busy week of catching up on top of seeing clients this week. I hate being so behind on paperwork and part of my upcoming review next month will focus a big part on how "timely" I get my paperwork in. If I am to get any raise this next year it will be lowered by my inability to hand it all in weekly. Screw that! LOL I know that documentation of my work is important for accountability reasons being prompt on my paperwork doesn't make me a better counselor. I typically run a few days behind but the last three weeks with getting the house shaped up for Thanksgiving company and the adjustment to full caseload have eaten up the time I'm willing to give to my 3/4 time employment and not sacrifice my family time and "me" time. Though my energy level is so much better due to better living through chemistry, exercise and nutrition (i.e weightloss)I still don't have the energy I had 5 years ago for this job that is demanding when I have a full caseload as I do now. But the urge to quit work is not there anymore so I guess things will get done. I am enjoying the job again.

I enjoyed a relaxing day yesterday. I never did get dressed for the day. Did get my workout on the machines and a little bit of work with weights, and I made a fabulous low fat whole wheat crust with vegies, herbs and reduced fat and fat free cheese for dinner last night, the most strenuous things I did all weekend. I spent the day reading and watching Dexter and football with Tom yesterday. Though I did go to bed early and didn't wait up to see the Cardinals beat our beloved Vikings last night. I wasn't in bed reading long before the Tylenol PM kicked in and I woke up with the book on my chest.

Today's a long day. I'm about to sign off and head to my office upstairs to get started on paperwork and hope to get a workout in before lunch. I start seeing clients mid afternoon and then have my ICPD class this evening.

Good grief! I slept until nearly 10:00 this morning! I was exhausted all day yesterday but not sleepy last night after I got a second wind after Tom's fabulous porkchop skillet dinner (porkchops with sliced onions, potatoes, apples and yummy spices, it's one of our favorite meat dishes), brocolli and a crunchy salad of greens and chopped veggies. Vanilla yogurt for dessert, a lot of calories in that dish but worth every one which I diligently counted. I got in my usual workout yesterday after missing two days, along with 10 minutes of using 3lb weights. I felt hungry all day, even though I was eating well. I've noticed that usually happens right before I drop a pound or two. Sure enough, the scales had moved downward over night when I got on first thing this morning. The weight loss is starting to show, my double chin is disappearing. LOL As soon as I get off the computer I'll be going upstairs to work out to make sure I get it in today.

Last night we watched the final episode of Robin Hood on BBCAmerica, an interesting twist on the story! Tom was teary-eyed at the death scene while I laughed at the melodrama, typically how we react to tearjerkers. He seems so much more sensitive than I but perhaps that is because of the coping skills I have for the job I do. But just as the program ended he got a phone call about a congregant's father's death. So he was primed for that bad news. He went into his study to work on today's story/sermon for church. I watched a movie on Hallmark channel. MRS. MIRACLE, with Doris Roberts. I really like her. The movie was predictable, but good based on one of Debbie Macomber's Christmas novels. It was a sweet Christmas story.

Yesterday Tom and I went into Baudette to run some errands and pick up a few items at the grocery store. We got a couple of small ornaments that we will mail to Ashlyn. We've decided we'll give her an ornament each year for her own little tree. This past week we sent a little placque that says "Dear Santa, define naughty" and I made a "First Christmas" Christmas card to send with it along with a Better Not Pout" cutout ornament." Of course she's too small to know what it's all about, but we did it more to make John and Angie smile and enjoy this special Christmas. This week we'll send the two ornaments we bought in Baudette, one is a 1st Christmas ornament, the other an angle sleeping on a candle stick. Very sweet. We couldn't decide which to buy so bought both. In the afternoon Tom and I drew names for all the kids and ourselves for Christmas in Fargo on December 26. This is going to be so much fun and Julie will be home for Christmas itself. Keeping things simple this year is making the season so peaceful! There is always so much going on in the church and community and we live so far from shopping areas that only having two major gifts to put together is a blessing. Tom, Julie and I will exchange small simple gifts on Christmas Eve after the 11:00 candlelight service.

I stayed home from church this morning partially because I woke up so late, but also because I needed the time to cocoon and not be around people and not having to go anywhere. This week will be busy. The church is having a dinner party at The Rustic Diner on Wed. night, and I have my ICPD class on Monday night. I still have one client to schedule this week but the week just looks better after heavier days on Monday and Wednesday.

Tom doesn't have to teach confirmation class this afternoon as two of the three girls he has in class will be caroling with the girlscouts in Baudette this afternoon. I hope that after he gets a chance to sit down after church that he will set up the large Nativity Scene on the top of the Piano and hope he will bring up from the basement, our Christmas Village. I typically leave this up through January so we can enjoy it longer. We're going to set it up on the dining room table instead of on the kitchen counter this year as it will only be Julie and the two of us here for Christmas we can see it from the living room and enjoy it more. We'll have our Christmas Eve dinner in the kitchen instead this year. I do love my kitchen. :-)

The sun was out yesterday for a while even though it wasn't in the forecast. This morning we have some sun too. We appreciate it when it's been hiding for several days in a row! It is hanging lower and lower in the sky as it moves toward Solstice. It is not clearing the treetops now. The woods with their snow are looking so lovely!

We have leftover Lentil Spaghetti and garden salad for lunch today after Tom gets home from church. Tonight I'm making a veggie pizza with whole wheat crust for dinner.

Happy St. Nicholas Day!! When I was in the convent boarding school we would put our shoe out the night before with a gift for the poor, (things like soap and shampoo or other toiletries) and in the morning we would find them filled with treats (popcorn balls, fudge, cookies and some candy) and a twig to remind us that we are both naughty and nice but gifted by grace. It was a custom I kept by putting a candy cane and chocolate bar in my children's shoes when they were younger and still at home. I rather miss doing that sometimes. Tom has a story/sermon about St. Nicholas Day posted on his blog. northwoodstom if you are interested in reading it.

Thursday is my baby sister's birthday! I remember how much more meaningful the Christmas story was for me when she was born before Christmas that year. I was 11 and she was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen! She was born early, our little brother Marty was born prematurely in February of the same year and died the day he was born. She was a gift of grace to our family and is still one of the best gifts I've ever been given. I love her so much! She is a fiesty, caring justice driven woman who makes the world a much better place even at high cost to herself. I wish I lived closer so I could see her more often!

I am fried... so glad it's Friday! Today was a very long day. I woke up at 5AM and have been working since about 7 this morning. I just got home from meetings and client sessions. I have a headache. My last client is a chain smoker and my eyes are burning. She and her 17 year old were raging at eachother. They both calmed down before I left. I can't wait to get into my jammies and decompress from the day! I took 15 minutes to stop by Aunt B's store in Roseau today to pick up a few little items that I'm giving my family as gifts in their Christmas cards this year. Keeping it simple, handmade, and inexpensive as much as possible this year. I want to work on cards this weekend.

Got my Winter issue of Altered Arts today with a box of arting goodies. Humor and Jest is the theme. I was to have gotten the DOD package but evidently they didn't start my subscription until the winter order. Oh well, this one is very cool! I'll open to get a better look in a little bit. I love Jesters! There are several items in this collection!

Tonight's dinner is Lentil Spaghetti sauce and whole wheat spaghetti, a crisp garden salad with fat free Italian dressing and sugar free/fat free chocolate pudding with banannas for dessert. Part of the lifestyle changes that Tom and I have both making for some time is to cut as much saturated fat from our diet as we can do so in a healthy manner We do need SOME fats in our diet for good health, so I'm not a fat nazi about it, just watching the amount"bad" fats we consume and I'm coming in way below the max fat I'm allowed in proportion to the calories I consume. Counting fats and calories has been easier than I thought and now it's become almost automatic. I do allow myself some small treats like part of a chocolate bar etc. I just include the fats/calories in my total for the day. The highest fat content we consume is found in red meat. We'd already cut fat in our diet but are continuing to add more lentils/beans in place of red meat in our diets. It feels good not to be consuming so much of a product that isn't good for us, and isn't so great for the environment. (Cattle/pigs and the methane gas and grain consumption factors niggle at our conscience in light of world hunger and global warming, but we're not giving up meat totally!) This is my own recipe for a meatless Lentil Spaghetti Sauce. It's quite yummy and especially satifying when served over whole wheat pastas.

Spray a large saucepan or dutch oven with Pam or other cooking spray.
Saute the following:

3/4 c. coarsely grated carrot
3/4 c. finely chopped celery
3/4 c chopped onion
4 cloves garlic.
**1 c. fresh sliced mushrooms OR 1 8oz can mushroom slices or pieces and stems DRAINED.
If using canned mushrooms saute the other vegetables until onion is soft and celery tender crisp and THEN add the canned mushrooms with the rest of the ingredients listed below)

To the vegetables add:
1 8oz. can tomatoe sauce
1 6oz can tomato paste
1 16 oz can diced or stewed tomatoes (chop the stewed tomatoes before adding)
2 to 2 1/2 cups water. (I add 2 c. water and add the remaining water later if it's too thick)
1/2 c. lentils rinsed and drained
1 1/2 tsp. crushed dry basil
1 tsp. oregano leaves crushed
1/4 tsp fennel seed
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp black pepper.
(after cooking taste the sauce and salt to taste, but let the herbs/spices flavor the sauce before adding any salt! You might find you don't really need salt)

Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 to 40 minutes or until the lentils are tender, adding the remaining water if the sauce seems too thick.

Serving size is 1c. = 0 grams of fat and 135 calories.
Serve over whole wheat pasta or regular pasta cooked without adding oil to the water. (We prefer whole wheat pasta)

1 c. Sauce and 1c. cooked whole wheat spaghetti = 310 calories and 1 g. fat.
Topping with cheese will of course add calories and fat depending on what kind of cheese you use.
1 TBSP of dry grated Kraft Parmesan used as topping adds 20 calories and 1.5 g. fat
1/4 cup nonfat mozzarella cheese used as topping adds 45 calories and 0 grams of fat per serving.

It's a quiet snowy morning in the northwoods. The snow is falling like hollywood snow, drifting straight down peacefully and gently. Tom left the house an hour ago to attend a pastor's meeting an hour away. He'll be gone most of the day. There's been only the sound of dogs snoring at my feet and the roar of the furnace filling the peaceful silence. Blissful!

I don't have clients today and am procrastinating exercising, making phone calls, chiseling away on the mountain of paperwork I have to do and household tasks that need to be done. I didn't have time or energy to exercise the last two days. I'm surprised at how much I miss it now when I don't get to it. I will get in at least one workout today, maybe two if things work together as I hope they will. I might run to Baudette to do a a little shopping later. But Tom drove my Malibu this morning as I didn't have appointments, and I'm not crazy about driving his ancient little Tracer if the snow amounts to anything. (Anyway it's a good reason not to have to leave the comfort of home today!)

I've got a pot of Chocolate Raspberry Ghiardelli coffee brewing to fortify me while I work through my To Do List.

To Do List for Today:
1. 30 minutes of exercise I did 35 minutes including a total 5 minutes of stretching before and after. Feeling the burn! Take THAT sluggish metabolism!!!
2. Call social workers, guardian ad litem, clients who are blowing me off about scheduling appointments.
3. Fill out my November expense reimbursement voucher and call the agency to see where my October expense reimbursement check is!! (They've lost my voucher's at the agency's state center before. Luckily I make copies of my voucher and receipts just in case!)
4. Work on casenotes I'm behind on again.
5. Maybe go to Baudette to pick up a couple of things and look for one of Tom's Christmas presents. Not going to happen today!
6. Read friends' LJ and post an entry.
7. figure out what to make for dinner tonight.
8. Wash towels and sheets
9. Vacuum the downstairs
10. Prepare for case staffing/consultation meeting tomorrow.
11. Go to Post Office
12. Make birthday card for Julie Wren, Christmas card for Ashlyn's first Christmas. Send Julie an e-card

I'm enjoying yesterday's 8 inches of snow, except for driving on unplowed roads like I did yesterday AM and PM and this AM to see clients. The moon was so bright last night it even shone through the clouds; the reflection off the snow turned the world a magical shimmery silver blue. Lovely!

******************************

American Life in Poetry: Column 245

BY TED KOOSER, U.S. POET LAUREATE, 2004-2006

I love the way the following poem by Susie Patlove opens, with the little rooster trying to "be what he feels he must be." This poet lives in Massachusetts, in a community called Windy Hill, which must be a very good place for chickens, too.

Poor Patriarch by Susie Patlove


The rooster pushes his head
high among the hens, trying to be
what he feels he must be, here
in the confines of domesticity.
Before the tall legs of my presence,
he bristles and shakes his ruby comb.

Little man, I want to say
the hens know who they are.
I want to ease his mistaken burden,
want him to crow with the plain
ecstasy of morning light as it
finds its winter way above the woods.

Poor outnumbered fellow,
how did he come to believe
that on his plumed shoulders
lay the safety of an entire flock?
I run my hand down the rippled
brindle of his back, urge him to relax,
drink in the female pleasures
that surround him, of egg laying,
of settling warm-breasted in the nest
of this brief and feathered time.

It's back to work, and back to the work week after such a wonderful long weekend. My house is still pretty clean and I'm enjoying it.

Church was kind of fun yesterday. When I got to church my young friend Becca (4yr. old) launched herself at me in the hugest exuberant hug wishing me a happy birthday and then ran and got a package from her and her family. She helped me open it of course! Two huge Cadburry bars, an angel pin, and a pair of Christmas socks. (At one point in the service I opened one of the bars and gave some to Becca because she was "so hungry [her] belly hurt and hurt.") She insisted on sitting with me through the whole service and amused me and cuddled with me. I adore that child! She reminds me so much of my youngest sister Terri with her strong will, her joy, and just the vivacity with which she lives her young life! I also adored (and still adore!) my youngest sister. During the service Becca whispered to me, "YOUR birthday cake is huge! But no presents." LOL It was Birthday Sunday at the church with a cake for all the November birthdays. Funny that Becca thought it was all for me. :-)

The Sunday school kids were delightful with the two selections they sang for special music. Two sisters in the church start decorating the church every Thanksgiving Eve and by Sunday it is transformed to holiday mode. It's beautiful! Though it is challenging to keep the kids from playing with the angels that are set out on the window sills. :-) I enjoyed the morning very much!

I didn't make time for art yesterday, I opted out to watch the Vikings beat the Bears, and did two workouts in the afternoon instead. (Trying to undo the damage of 4 days of feasting!) The scales looks much better this morning! I want to get a work out in this morning too before the day gets too busy. I have to get my billing into the office this morning and then I'm meeting my friend Amy in Baudette for lunch before seeing clients this afternoon. it's been ages since we were able to do that. We were supposed to do that last week but she had a death in the family and was out of town. Tonight I have the ICPD class at the hospital. Tom isn't going with me tonight.

Time to get to work I guess. :-/

Thanksgiving weekend has been so full of joy, laughter and hundreds of small delights and pleasures!
Julie and Matt arrived from the Twin Cities mid afternoon on Thursday. We had the traditional turkey and trimmings for dinner around 6PM,
Turkey Breast
Savory Herb Stuffing
Baked Sweet Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Green Beans With Almond Slices
Crescent Rolls
Relish Tray
Cranberry Jelly
Pumpkin Pie and Whipped Cream

We had such a great visit with Julie and Matt. I can’t say enough good things about this wonderful young man’s thoughtfulness and the tender way he and my daughter treat each other. He is obviously a man who appreciates and respects women. They are obviously quite smitten with each other, affectionate but not clingy or and Tom and I agree that he is worthy of our precious daughter. When she walks into the room his face lights up like it’s Christmas! He is bright, articulate, thoughtful, caring, at ease with himself, very interesting to talk to, has a wonderful sense of humor and just a delight to spend time with! He passed the litmus test with the dogs as well. Snuggles of course loves anyone who will give him attention, Bear is a little more wary but he didn’t’ even bark at Matt. He went right to him as if they had been friends forever and Bear pretty much ignored the rest of us, the whole time Matt was here. He adored him! Matt laughed at the dog hair and obviously loved the dogs. He is not fussy or demanding, the perfect guest, did lots of little thoughtful things without being asked and without any fuss. He was simply being himself and it was so comfortable having him in the house. Julie says he is like that all the time with everyone. He is like the male mirror of Julie’s best qualities, and he’s quite handsome as well.

We had Belgian waffles, wild blueberries from the freezer and sausage links for breakfast on Friday. Friday night I made our traditional turkey enchiladas for dinner. Friday morning Tom and the kids went out to Zippel Bay State Park and walked along the beach and on some of the trails while I stayed home and enjoyed a little quiet time and did some cooking prep and housework. The kids went to Warroad to see the sights and to visit the Casino for a little while, Tom and I got our Christmas put up in the living room. Later there we were, all 4 of us sitting in the living room, each of us absorbed in a book, glancing up to look at the tree now and again! That he likes to read is really big in our family. We are all readers.

After dinner on Friday the kids went to the Williams Muni for a bit but didn’t stay long. One of the locals was looking for a fight. They came home and then one of Julie’s high school friends came over and they went back to the bar for a bit and then on to the Night Hawk a few miles down the highway, on the county line. The Night Hawk is a colorful place in the history of the area. The hawk was quite wild in its day when this county was the only county up north that wasn’t “dry”. I went to bed and didn’t hear them come home though it was early. It was a wonderful day for me having the kids here! But there is a bitter sweet component to it as well. I think that this wonderful young man is probably “The One” she has been waiting for. It signals the end of my “mothering” days as I have known them. But that this young man makes my daughter so happy, and is so lovable and such a kind, thoughtful, loving person makes the inevitable sense of… dare I say a bit of loss, a loss I’m happy to see.

All cleaning and no art time makes Luna a very dull girl! (As I will be 58 on Saturday perhaps it's a stretch to use the word "girl", but then I refuse to grow up entirely so perhaps I can pull it off.)

So sorry I haven't been commenting on LJs or answering comments. The cleaning project has consumed almost all my time when I'm not seeing clients. But my house is looking pretty good and I won't be embarassed to have company. :-) Even a white gloved church lady could walk in and what she notices isn't even worth spit! (In Tom's first parish I had open house after an Advent service and one of the men from the congregation actually swiped a finger across the top of the refrigerator and looked to see if there was dust! I had cleaned even that! He was embarassed when he saw that I noticed what he had done. Too funny!) I think we have about worn out our little Dirt Devil carpet cleaner! I cleaned my office, Julie's room and the upstairs hallway carpets yesterday before going to see clients. Today I have a few area rugs to wash, beds to make and the bathroom to clean and a bit to do in the kitchen before baking a pumpkin pie and starting other prep for tomorrow's meal. Church tonight if I haven't collapsed by then! Oh, and I still have that one tiny area in the kitchen that remains to be done. (The rest of my art supplies) This year I decided not to use paper plates so am anticipating a lot of dishpan hands) Just one small step in going a little greener. My hands are rough from all the cleaning, but now that it's done I'm in the mood to get out our small Christmas tree and put out a few decorations. Must stop at Ben Franklin when I am in Baudette today to see if I can find some small candles to fit our glass turkey candle holders for a small centerpiece on the table. They're very cute and I haven't used them in years. I am so excited about this holiday!

Tomorrow I have to tune into the Macy's Day parade on TV! Nephew Martin Johnson's band Boys Like Girls is performing! He's the lead singer. We are all so proud of this fine young man's success! He's a great kid! He and the band work so hard!

Arrgh!! Time to shower and get out of the house to see my client at 9:00.

Have a great day! I intend to! :-)

Not much to write about today. I'm sure that if people are still reading they are getting tired of reading about my housecleaning and how the diet is going. LOL

I still have one small area in the kitchen to clean that I'll get done this morning. I put away most of my "witchy" items, that might seem disturbing to someone who doesn't understand wicca/paganism, and thorougly cleaned my office yesterday to get it ready to put up the bed where Matt will sleep, all that needs to be done in there now is wash the windows, steam clean the carpet and put the curtains back up. It's not that I'm trying to hide who I am, it is more about the comfort of my daughter and her boyfriend who means so much to her. I do not have to be "loud and proud" about my spiritualty to be who I am, an ecclectic spiritual mutt. I am who and what I am without the external trappings. I'll smudge the room and bring them out again after Matt is no longer sleeping in the room. I used the opportunity to "purge" a lot of stuff and old papers that I no longer use or find relevant. It was liberating to let go of some of the junk I have been holding on to and now can't even remember the emotional attachment I had to them. I also threw out some items that had negative significance to me and wondered why I hadn't thrown them out before.

I was delighted to find a pair of favorite earrings I bought in April '97' to celebrate the completion of my grueling written comps in graduate school. It was a celebration of completing the coursework of 4 years of undergrad and two years of graduate school. The flood of 97 that forced the entire evacution of Grand Forks ND delayed my graduation until December of 97 so that I could finish my master's thesis as the population I was using as subjects were UND professors/spouses and employee workers/spouses. My thesis was on the possible correlation of perfectionism with marital satisfaction. I found no correlation, although my undergrad research project was on the correltation between perfectionism and creativity in which our team of three found some correlation. Perfectionism is so fascinating to me. Perhaps because I struggled so much with self-oriented perfectionism most of my life. Funny now, how I laugh at my imperfection and accept my own limitation, allowing myself to be as imperfect as anyone else. Funny how I could be so tolerant of others' imperfections and so hard on myself. I think I was under the delusion that I had to be "perfect" so others would like me. I like myself better the way I am now, and I think my imperfection is part of what others like about me as well. As a pastor's wife there seems to be a "mold" that some want you to fit into. I broke the mold and think that my imperfection and ability to take myself more lightly is part of what draws others to me. There is little joy in trying to be perfect!

The class at the hospital last night was fun! The 90 minutes passed so quickly! I lost 4 pounds this week, and it seemed so painless. I think that the extra effort at exercise I have been making and all the physical oomph I've put into cleaning paid off. I have not been very hungry at all, have been eating only when hungry, not by what time the clock says it is, and yesterday actually had to add food to come up with a healthy level of calories. I don't want to eat too few and slow down my metabolism. I do enjoy the coaches, and the others in the class.

I've only one client today, at 4:30 this afternoon so am going to spend the day working on the upstairs, leaving the bathroom to tomorrow night. I'll bake our pumpkin pie tomorrow as well. I am really looking forward to the long weekend coming up. We get both Thursday and Friday as holidays. :-)

Time to get off the computer and to get busy!

TO DO LIST:
1. Prepare new chart for new client.
2. Write progress update on client for her Guardian ad Litem.
3. Clean the office carpet.
4. Vacuum and dust Julie's room and the hallway and steps.
5. Clean the carpet in Julie's room.
6. Clean the hallway carpet and steps.
7. Clean the bathroom and kitchen rugs.
8. Exercise 30 minutes.
9. See client/family this afternoon.
10. Finish the small kitchen area remaining.
11. wash and put the curtains back up in my office.

I worked on the kitchen for a little while before going to church yesterday morning. I was glad I went to church yesterday. I sat with a young single mom, a former client, and her active 3 year old who she was bringing to church for the first time. This girl is a year younger than my Julie and so very very sweet. Her little girl, Luci Lu, is adorable and very active, exhuberant and verbal! Her mom was in tears about her behavior. I took the little girl out for a while during the service and after the service lots of grandmas and aunties and young moms came to her and shared their stories and gave her hugs and support encouraging her to come back again that Luci was not all that much louder or active than the others in church. Thankfully most of the old school, you should beat that kid, are passed away or have moved away. I think it's so important that parents give their kids some kind of spiritual life no matter what it is, Wiccan/Pagan, Christian, Islam, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu, B"Hai... ANYTHING, even though I would rather that it not be fundamentalist in any extreme,... any path rooted in love and respect of self, others and the earth, hope based, not fear, to avoid spiritual poverty that can crush us at times when life so harsh and we feel so isolated. That spiritual strength is sometimes all we have to fall back on when we are just hanging on to a shoestring. There is too much spiritual poverty in the world in which we live.

I've only one small area to finish cleaning in the kitchen, other than the table that I am leaving til the last minute in case I have time to work on the cabinet photos. That is one mess that gives me pleasure to look upon. :-) After church I warmed up dinner left from Friday night and we watched the Vikings game. We both still laugh at how into the games I now get and how I enjoy them. At one point I teased him that for Christmas he could get me a Vikings jersey with Rice's number on it and I would wear it on game days. After the game I raked up the back yard of pine cones, needles and poops into a huge pile that Tom scooped up into several bags when he got home from teaching confirmation class. it was a nice day to be outside and I enjoyed the sound of the rake scraping, the patterns left on the earth from the rake, the air that made my cheeks cold and the peace that filled me while I was working. I laughed as I was raking when the pines hit me several times on the head with more pinecones dropping reminding me that they were they are bigger and grander than I. I have watched them grow from the size of Christmas trees into mighty towering trees in the 14+ years we've lived her. it was dark when Tom got home, with only the back door light to show us what we were doing, and colder than it had been when I was raking but we were treated to bright stars and the waxing crescent moon. We changed into Jammies and warm robes after, I heated up chili, watched some more football for a bit before watching Dexter. I ached too much to do anything more last night and dug out the wonderful chair back massager that Tom gave me for Christmas a few years ago. Bliss! It helped so much! This morning now that it is so light outside I can see that it looks so much better! Yay for us!! I've not had time/ for my intentional exercise the last few days but the heavy cleaning I've done has been probably even more strenuous than the glider and bike and the scales continues to inch down.

I texted Julie and Noah last night to ask them about John's suggestion that we draw names for our Oberg Christmas instead of trying to buy presents for everyone. They really like the idea too! (Though I probably will give everyone a small gift, just because it gives me joy and I'm the MOM!!) I am going to enjoy this Christmas so much, not feeling so rushed to shop, not thinking about the money and focusing on just being together! That really is what it's all about! :-)

Last night I listed the items on my Thanksgiving meal and looked up calorie and fat contents with the intention of stahying as close to the recommended calories and fat as I could. I am not going to kick myself if I go over calories or fat, but being mindful of what I'm eating is a good idea I think. Actually, if I stick to the menu I've made for myself for breakfast and dinner, and eat the pumpkin pie without the crust I WILL stay within the plan. It's a matter of portion control, and intention. I find that the mindfulness of my food plan is spilling over into other areas of my life where mindfulness is becoming more than a diet, it's a lifestyle change that is affecting more areas of my life than what I eat or do. Mindfulness is not just about those things, it's also about BEING.

I ended up with no clients today so I'm going to go get my billing invoices filled out and faxed in so that I can finish the kitchen and then clean my office again. Glad it's not been so long since I dealt with the clutter in there. But more clutter has appeared and I want to clean the room throughly before putting Matt in there to sleep. I've also a cabinet in the hallway to clear out and bookshelves to dust there as well too. I want to get the upstairs carpet in my office and julies room, the hallway and the steps cleaned. Tom's office is hopeless! he's even worse about clutter than I am, and he's such a packrat/hoarder. lol

I have my class at the hospital tonight. The facilitators are great! They take the approach that they are lifestyle coaches. The support of the group is helpful. There is a lot of laughter in the group.

I hope all have a great week!

EDIT: OOOH OOOH OOOH!!! The mail man just brought me a birthday package from a friend!!! I'm going to open it on my birthday on Saturday. IF I CAN WAIT THAT LONG!! LOL There is nothing like a package to get the day/week off to a good start! :-)